Category: Overcome fear

The Situation is Not The Reason We Do Anything

A change in employment, a job in another state, the grandchildren live in Seattle, the kids are all married; these are situations.  When asked,  “Why are you selling your house? Why are you moving?” any of those replies only reference a situation in the person’s life. They are not reasons for selling, for moving.

The reason a person sells their house is as simple as, “I want something different. I have this, but I want that. Having this keeps me from getting that.”  What they want might be different real estate, different weather, different lifestyle.   When the house a person owns can not be retained in order to get that next thing, the house becomes the key to their future.  Then why does  history, the past life, memories of the house weigh so heavily in the decision to sell?  I believe the hangup in selling is always tied to a weak commitment to the next thing.  When we want something bad enough, we will let go of what keeps us from getting it.  If I want to be in Texas with my family and the kids enrolled in school by August 15th, I won’t let a few thousand dollars difference get in the way. My reason for selling is the solution to getting what I want more than what I have.

When  a person says they won’t sell for X price below their asking price, the reason is because they want to keep this, more than they want to have that.  Regardless of the situation, the reason to not sell at X price is to keep what I have right now.  Only when getting the next thing is more important than keeping this thing will we reach an agreement with a buyer. Until then all buyers are competing with the seller/owner. It’s hard to outbid an owner when they want what they have more than what they might acquire. Maybe a fear of the future, the unknown, is greater than the comfort of the present, the known.  The money will be enough when desire for the future exceeds fear of loss or what might be.

The Opportunity of Failure

Seth Godin wrote a simple thought about failure today. He said, “Failure (and the fear of failure) gives you a chance to have a voice…”.  Because we care, the Realtor has a voice in calming the fear, in removing the risk.  How often do we begin with calming the fear, and when do we begin by raising the anxiety?  A typical message from the real estate industry begins with creating fear of loss. Loss of economic opportunity, loss of prestige, loss of a house, loss of time, loss of winning. And then, after we’ve riled the public into discontent, our industry expects the public to look to us to provide a solution.  All we’ve done is created an environment for businesses with a calming voice to step in and take the share of the market which desires security.

The expansion of Zillow’s presence in the market place is directly related to our industry’s commitment to continue to instill fear and worry in the public with media campaigns and mantras. “Now is the time… Don’t wait…Rates are going up…prices are going up…prices are going down…”.

Empowering people to make wise decisions in controlled environments is the alternative to keeping people in the dark, and raising instilling fear. As long as Realtors continue to rely on fear of failure, there will be great opportunity for Realtors who deliver contentment, security, hope, and confidence.   Seth Godin

Happiness lives on the other side of fear

Fear of falling increases with altitude. At one foot I have no fear. At 10 feet I begin to get cautious. At 15, I’m afraid. The tipping point to fear is about 11 1/2 feet when I have one foot on a rung and the other foot reaching for the next.

Last week when I first attempted to climb I almost quit. The job appeared big as well as high. With a little guidance from a guy who knows something about ladders, I managed to begin cleaning and staining the highest points of my house. My fear of falling subsided when I made it past the horizontal mid point. From there I could see the end. I also discovered that my chance of completing this job without a tragedy were higher than my mind told me when I first inched my way up to the top.  I realized a life lesson as the fear of failure evaporated and the feeling of happiness of completing a job I thought could not be done was within reach. Happiness is on the other side of fear, and fear has its place.

Fear is a choice. Once we decide if fear will keep us planted where we are, run,  or inspire us to proceed with caution, we have a commitment to make. Reminding ourselves there is happiness to be had we press on learning to navigate in the risky areas. Sooner than we might expect, the fear gives way to confidence (and a healthy respect for the real danger) and confidence with competence takes us to the goal. Even if happiness is fleeting, it may be worth overcoming the fear to feel the happiness.

Choose To Fight or To Understand

Memorable outcomes of my fights to be right serve a purpose when I look at them and ask, “What did you learn?” It’s so easy to rush to battle, and so admirable to watch people who first seek to understand and then to be understood (Melanie Trump said that…no she didn’t, Steven Covey did in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People).

The art of understanding is in listening. When I’ve been most respectful I am shown the the feelings rooted in fear which may be a contributor to an attitude of battle. Respect is served with space and patience. In my rushing to results days, impatience bowls through the space and rumbles over respect. I know what patience looks like and accomplishes.  I’ve seen admirable patience in my sons, young people who let go, seniors who know what life is about, and other well adjusted people who probably have faith in the power of Karma.

I was just told that a person believes I’m not trying hard enough. She may be right. Trying hard is not a path I will walk.  I’m being patient. I’m being gentle. I’m listening and understanding. It’s freedom to be at peace with the world. I choose to not fight today. Let’s see if the universe accepts patience. I believe it does.

The Enemy of Creativity is Fear: Or Good Stuff From Seth Godin

Embrace fear and wrap it in creativity. Use fear to improve your creative idea, not to extinguish it.

Great ideas become popular internet Apps, inventions, tools to improve life, amazing books, and movies. Chances are the person credited with the Great Idea probably wasn’t the first to imagine the potential. What the person who made it happen did was overcome fear. Fear is placed in our minds by imagining the idea will fail, be rejected, we’ll be ridiculed. Kind of funny to think that the same idea we imagine to be clever and worthwhile has two faces. One bright and optimistic, the other gloom and doom.

People who set out to make a difference have fear nipping at their heals right up to the date of launch. What they do that allows them to move forward is probably a combination of ignoring the fear and embracing it. Fear embraced for what it is helps the creative person think about areas of opportunity, weakness, areas to be enhanced. When fear derails a creative idea fear succeeds in undermining a person’s pride, ego, confidence. commitment, desire to make a difference. Want to try it? Think of a social issue and suggest a creative solution to friends. They will show you what you should fear. Suggest a business idea to your spouse. If you get an enthusiastic “let’s do it!” you’re one of the fortunate few.

Seth Godin points out that the enemy of Fear is Creativity. Willing to learn from failure allows a person to be creative in face of fear. Fear can not stand up to creativity. Creativity will attract creative people.

Embrace fear. Be creative. Be as fearless as a child who only knows imagination. Wrap that fear in creativity.